Imma leave this right here

 A relationship shouldn’t survive on one person’s effort alone. If they want you in their life, they’ll make room for you—not just update you when it’s convenient.

The Limits of Knowing: What People Don’t Tell Us

  

 In a recent episode of FBI, two characters shared a poignant exchange. One lamented, "I thought I knew him." The other responded with a wisdom that hits close to home: "You can't know what people don't tell you." These words resonate deeply, evoking reflections on human relationships, the enigma of personal identity, and the invisible layers that make up each individual.

The Surface and the Depths

Humans are like icebergs: what we see is only a fraction of the whole. Our interactions, no matter how frequent or intimate, often only scratch the surface. We tend to believe we understand those around us based on our shared experiences and observable behaviors. Yet beneath the surface lies a vast expanse of unspoken thoughts, emotions, and past experiences.

The Facade We Present

People are complex beings, and often, we only show a fraction of ourselves to the world. We wear masks, build facades, and share only what we choose to reveal. This is not inherently deceitful; it's a survival mechanism, a way to protect our most vulnerable selves. We curate our image, deciding what to share and what to conceal based on trust, comfort, and past experiences.

The Unspoken Truths

What people don't tell us can be just as significant as what they do. These unspoken truths might be past traumas, fears, dreams, or even aspects of their identity they are still coming to terms with. The reasons for keeping these things private vary: fear of judgment, the pain of revisiting old wounds, or simply the belief that some things are too personal to share.

The Illusion of Knowing

When we think we know someone, it's based on the information they have provided us. We fill in the gaps with our assumptions and interpretations, often colored by our perspectives and biases. But the reality is, we can never fully know another person. We can only know what they choose to disclose.

The Dynamic Nature of Identity

Moreover, identity is not a static construct; it evolves over time. The person you thought you knew five years ago may have undergone significant changes in beliefs, values, or life circumstances. These shifts might not always be outwardly evident, further complicating our understanding of each other.

Building Deeper Connections

To build deeper connections, we must acknowledge this limitation. True intimacy comes from a place of mutual understanding and acceptance. It involves creating a safe space where individuals feel comfortable sharing their truths. This requires patience, empathy, and the willingness to listen without judgment.

Embracing the Unknown

Embracing the unknown is part of the journey of relationships. It means accepting that we will never have all the answers and that some aspects of those we love will remain a mystery

currently listening to Someone Like You, by Adele

This is an example of a rhetorical question

 Why do I let myself forget that I live in America as a black man and that I need to take some extra steps to get a fair result?

currently listening to Black Man In A White World, by Michael Kiwanuka 

ok. and...

 my therapist once told me that I need to be intentional with what I want and it will show up.

ok. and?