Mis-Guidance

i remember
          when I was young
       i wanted to build
               buildings that scraped
the sky.
                                    though I had more
qualifications
than was
necessary ,
I was convinced
by  my guidance
counselor
who I thought would
know better than i
that i
would be better off
cleaning the bathrooms of
those buildings
instead.
i didn’t know
Luke 12:7
back then.
the words:
it was her words
like a hand on the
back of the head
(filled with dreams)
pressed
firmly;
my head
tilted
in the downward
 position
in her attempt for me
 to perform the role
of the servant.
the subservient little black boy
/ ;
my back used for my white
counterparts to stand on
to become what I dreamed
 of being.
to keep a people
oppressed
then to shake
the head
at those oppressed
 people
wondering why they are
how they are.
lazy
from dreaming
but I now beg
 for the return
of my youth.
the biggest weapon being the
reinforcement of doubt;
the implantation of the seed
in the mind
growing
becoming my own enemy.
i stare at sky scrapers
immaculately
designed buildings
I see foundations
 on buildings with signatures
 other than my own
written in stone;
there are buildings
I have built for my mother
in my head
and on graph paper
i wonder what my
 signature would have
 been in concrete
wood steel clay
glass on the hearts
of the owners of those
buildings that would have been designed by me (but were not)

by Alexgeorge