A different drug problem...

A co-worker sent this to my email- I just had to post it in my blog.

     My mother was strict with me and my sister. And when I say strict, I mean S T R I C T, and as a child living in the projects in Brooklyn before moving to Racine Wisconsin (what a culture shock-but that that's for another blog entry at another time), of all places, I didn't understand the reason for her strictness. I always thought the extent of her strictness was unnecessary, that perhaps she was a bit of a control freak. seriously, I did. I used to wonder why my mother needed to know who our friends were, who their parents were, and whether my sister and I were home alone when she was at work. It used to annoy me to no end, considering we both tried to do everything my mom asked us to do. If we talked on the phone, she always wanted to know who we were talking to. If my sister wanted to go to a friend’s house, my mom made sure to call the friend’s mom, not just to be sure it was okay for my sister to visit, but also to be sure that that was where she was really going to be, and my mother would insist on driving her to the friend’s house, and picking her up from that friend’s house at an appropriate time. Since my sister was more the social butter fly than I was, she was always trying to outsmart my mother, but my mom was always one step ahead of her. I remember my sister being frustrated with my mother being aware of her plans. My mother told her, “ Girl, I was sneaky as a kid, just like you. The things you’re trying to get away with, I did them all. You can’t fool me!”

My mother used to have me mow the lawn, trim the hedges, and shovel the sidewalks and driveway of the church property next door when we lived in Wisconsin, not to mention our own property as well. And, she insisted that I do the church property for free, and mow the lawn for an elderly couple, that it's the right thing to do. I hated it. When there were about 20 boys my age in the church, and the Pastor had an able-bodied son my age as well, I resented my having to do it all by myself. And I only got one 'thank you' from the pastor. After that, I don't know if it was assumed that I would always do it, or maybe my mother told him I would always do it, but throughout my 4 years living in Racine (I attended a college as far away as I could) that was my duty, along with my education and working three part-time jobs before college.

It didn't occur to me until I had grown up, that that's what you do when you love your children. You care about the people in their lives, and you want to be sure that they're socializing with good trustworthy people that are looking out for their best interests. You also teach them to not be lazy and to do good things not just because you might get paid for it but because it's the right thing to do.

I have a 'friend' and I won't reveal her name, who used to be very lax with her kids. She used to allow them to come and go as they pleased, any time of day and night. She had no idea who was in her house when she was at work or in her bedroom asleep. She didn't know her children's friends or their parents. She had the same type of mother my sister and I did, and she decided she wasn't going to be strict with her kids the way her mother was with her and her sister.

My sister and I grew up, graduated from high school, got college degrees, moved away and didn’t cause my mother any heartache, and didn’t have any kids that my mom had to help raise….and my friend?

She has three daughters under 17 years of age. All of them are pregnant and don't know who the father might be. Three sons 19 and older are in jail. One son is awaiting sentencing. Another died from a botched bank robbery, another paralyzed from the neck down from jumping out of a window (from the 3rd floor) to escape a drug raid at the front door of their apartment, and now she wishes she was strict with her kids.