The question is still the same.
I asked- What have I done to not be deserving of happiness?
I was at a poetry reading this evening. Friday evenings I am usually at home watching HBO max, Hulu or Paramount Plus until I fall asleep, but I was told about the poetry reading earlier in the week and I decided that I will not meet anyone staying at home, so I went. Then my only friend in town ( he told me about the poetry reading earlier in the week. I didn't know he would show up) showed up with a friend, and he was glad I was there because he was curious about the dude's sexuality though the dude's given him many hints, and my friend wanted me to observe dude's behavior to confirm. My friend doesn't want to make any moves that might cause the dude to want to kick his ass. I didn't stay at the Poetry reading for long because the women there looked ratchet, and regarding my friend and the dude, it was as if they were on a date and I was intruding, so at the intermission, I told my friend I was tired and going home. I said good bye to the both of them and I went home.
An hour later my friend called me and asked my opinion. I told him the dude was on him like velcro. It's obvious the dude was into him for more than friendship. My friend devoted every second of the time he wasn't talking to me, to him, and I didn't want to be a 3rd wheel.
Anyway, I wonder how does it feel to like at the very least, and to be liked in return?
How does it feel to be loved, and to be loved in return? Dude was following my friend around like a puppy dog this evening.
Dear Lord, What have I done to not be deserving of love, of happiness? I was told by 2 different people before I moved to Oregon, that I would find my wife there. I was in Oregon for 14 years, looking for her every.single.day.
Did she move away? Possibly to Wisconsin?
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