Je suis fatigué

Does your halo ever get heavy?

                    -my sister, to me. 

Je suis fatigué.

Not of love

But of looking for it.

Je suis fatigué.

Not of life

But of living it.

Je suis fatigué.

Not of dreaming

But of trying to live my dreams.

Je suis fatigué.

Not of noise

But of screaming and no one hearing.

Je suis fatigué.

Not of knowing the answers

But of no one seeing my raised hand towering above all other raised hands.

My arms are tired.

I

Am

Tired.

Very.

None of your business

 
I have a friend at my former job in Milwaukee Wisconsin named Alex. I envy him. I know nothing about him except: when he started working at the insurance company he was taking a break from law school, that he's Nigerian, that he likes reggae, that he has a twin sister, that his family moved to Milwaukee when he was fifteen, that his father is a cabdriver and his mother is a nurse. Other than that I know nothing. At first I thought he was just being standoffish, but he was cool with me. We were on the same work schedule and I was his mentor. We'd talk (vent) about work, and that was it. I do know that he dated a woman on the 4th floor. I’d see them together on the weekends out at club or restaurant or the mall, holding hands. I never felt he was hiding anything. He just felt that his business was his business. He was always on a need- to- know basis.


I remember when she was pregnant. She told me about it. She was so happy. They had twin boys. Through the months I observed her stomach getting bigger and bigger. He never talked to me about it. My coworkers were frustrated because they couldn’t get any intel on him. Anything they knew about him came from lies and assumptions that had to be made up since they didn’t know the truth. I don’t know why some people find it necessary to know everything there is to know about everyone they know.

I envy him.

No one knew his business. He controlled what people knew. Too many times I've confided in people and regretted it. Too many times I've opened myself up to people, to hear it being repeated to me by that person, or people I don't even know or like. And once you let something out, it's impossible to bottle it up.

I envy him.

If it wasn't for Linkedin, I wouldn't even know that he completed law school and works at a law firm in Milwaukee Wisconsin. I knew he still lived there because we have texted each other from time to time. He just felt that his business was his business. I have always known everything there was to know about my coworkers, most things I wish I never knew.



From now on I aspire to be like Alex.

Oprah's Theory of Relativity

So, I didn't have the winning $600 million Powerball ticket, which can mean alot of things. The most important of which is: people don't have to come out of the woodwork to remind me that they're related to me (not by blood of course since I'm adopted) or to reminded me that we're friends. They can  continue to forget that I exist until the next funeral, or wedding or other social event, or when a mutual friend comes back to town who wants to see us all together-

Oprah calls this the Theory of Relativity.

The simple act

The loneliest people are the kindest. The saddest people smile the brightest. The most damaged people are filled with wisdom. All because they do not wish to see anyone else suffer the way they do.
                  --Timothy Delvecc

The Poser

Are you one of those?

Tiptoeing around

                       over

under

neath 
 (friendship)

t h e r e  a b o u t  
sneaking away from
(honesty)
                                                                                                             running  in the opposite direction

and never ever

-walking on

               in

               through  (
                                      the truth                  ) ?

is it you?

--Alexgeorge

Dammit Janet!

This is how 47 looks

The Amen of The Universe

Love works magic.
It is the final purpose
Of the world story,
The Amen of the universe.
-Novalis

Note to self

Got Privilege?

You know the invisible knapsack of privilege  is obvious when you're the only black man in the department and even your white male coworker notices and mentions that you're being treated differently than him and the others in the department without you having to even bring it up.

I wonder

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

                        -- William James

Blacks outvoted whites in 2012, the first time on record

Washington (CNN) – A new Census Bureau report provides more evidence that the changing demographics of the United States are having a deep impact at the voting booth.

The report on the 2012 election found that for the first time on record, black voters turned out to the presidential polls at a higher rate than whites. More than 66% of eligible blacks voted in the presidential contest that pit President Barack Obama against Republican nominee Mitt Romney. Only 64.1% of whites turned out to vote.
The report was released Wednesday.



This the first time since 1968 that blacks turned out at a higher rate the whites.
In addition to blacks turning out at a higher rate, the number of Asian and Hispanic voters grew from 2008 to 2012. Hispanics added 1.4 million people and Asians added over 500,000. Between 1996 and 2012, blacks, Asians and Hispanics all saw their percentage of the voting population increase.
"Over the last five presidential elections, the share of voters who were racial or ethnic minorities rose from just over one in six in 1996 to more than one in four in 2012," said Thom File, the report's author.
The highest turnout of blacks, in addition to the growing number of Hispanics and Asians, could also explain Obama's success in defeating Romney.
According to CNN exit polls, 93% of African-Americans, 71% of Hispanics and 73% of Asians supported Obama over Romney.

Either / Or

To be honest, I don't know who I admire more.  You all know how I feel about Halle Berry, but when I see Salli Richardson-Whitfield, I like her more.

Do you?

WE wear the mask that grins and lies,
    It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,—
    This debt we pay to human guile;
    With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
    And mouth with myriad subtleties.

    Why should the world be over-wise,
    In counting all our tears and sighs?
    Nay, let them only see us, while
            We wear the mask.
    We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries
    To thee from tortured souls arise.
    We sing, but oh the clay is vile
    Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
    But let the world dream otherwise,
            We wear the mask!
                             
                                           -- We wear the mask,   Paul Laurence Dunbar

Just a thought

With the exception of my mom, my best friend , the friends I go to lunch with on thursdays, my boss and coworkers, and my landlord, would anyone even notice if I moved to Paris?


Just a thought

The things that bind us

In each one of us there is an Egypt and a Pharaoh and a Moses and Freedom in a Promised Land. And every point in time is an opportunity for another Exodus.
Egypt is a place that chains you to who you are, constraining you from growth and change. And Pharaoh is that voice inside that mocks your gambit to escape, saying, “How could you attempt being today something you were not yesterday? Aren’t you good enough just as you are? Don’t you know who you are?”
Moses is the liberator, the infinite force deep within, an impetuous and all-powerful drive to break out from any bondage, to always transcend, to connect with that which has no bounds.
But Freedom and the Promised Land are not static elements that lie in wait. They are your own achievements which you may create at any moment, in any thing that you do, simply by breaking free from whoever you were the day before.

--Rabbi Tzvi Freedman

Friday Flashback

Solitaire

I was showing my mom pictures of my trip to Paris, where I had gone by myself for my birthday last year.   I was showing her pictures of the happiest time in my life, and she looked sad. I asked her what was wrong.

"Vous êtes très solitaire," she said.

She said it as if it was something new, something she had just realized about me. That means she hadn't been listening to anything I've been telling her about my life here in Oregon, and I told her she was right:

 "Oui. Je suis très solitaire."
(yes, I am very lonely)

There's a big difference between being lonely and being alone.

She said she thought I " wanted to be alone after that relationship with that Persian girl and the 2 or 3 short-term relationships after her.  I remember when you  were a little boy. You were always by your self. You  didn't have any friends until High School. I always thought you liked being alone."

I couldn't believe I had to remind her of how rude kids can be to those who were not like them.

I repeated  "Je suis très solitaire."

I don't know how she got that I was lonely, in my pictures. Those were the happiest 12 days of my life. Of course I wished I had someone to share it with- maybe that was what my eyes were telling her. Or perhaps she thought I would have to have been really really lonely to go on vacation to the most romantic city in the world, on the other side of the plan. She's right. Je suis très solitaire.



 

Note to self

Doctors at Good Samaritan Hospital in Jimani, Dominican Republic, had to amputate 4-year-old Schneily Similien’s lower leg because of injuries suffered in the Haiti earthquake. His father, Ducarmel Similien, says he will do whatever it takes to get a prosthetic leg for his boy.

There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting.
                              ~

unknown

“I would rather have my son with one leg than to not have my son at all,” said Ducarmel Similien. He and Scott McGough, a volunteer physical therapist from Dallas, steady 4-year-old Schneily Similien’s as he learns to walk on crutches.

I'll be ready



The Spider Bridge in Sun City Resort, South Africa

                             What's coming will come, and we'll just have to meet it when it does.
                                    --J. K. Rowling                  

Shouldn't Mountain Dew have known better? How was this even approved in the first place?

Picture a grim police line-up with five young African American men in stereotypical "thug" garb, and a goat. That's just the opening shot.

PepsiCo has announced it is pulling its new ad for Moutain Dew after a storm of criticism this week. Social commentator Dr. Boyce Watkins wrote on his blog that the spot was "arguably the most racist commercial in history." He continues, "Mountain Dew has set a new low for corporate racism. Their decision to lean on well-known racial stereotypes is beyond disgusting. This doesn't even include the fact that the company has put black men on par with animals."
The one-minute ad shows a badly beaten blonde Caucasian woman approaching the line-up on crutches. A white male warden says, "We got 'em all lined up, nail the little sucker." The goat, in a raspy male voice bullies her with phrases, "keep your mouth shut, I'm going to do ya when I get out," "ya better not snitch on a playa'," and "snitches, get stitches, fool." The woman becomes hysterical and runs from the room. As the ad ends, you can hear her screaming off-screen.
The spot is one of a series featuring an intoxicated goat called Felicia created by Tyler, The Creator —  leader of the hip-hop collective One Future. Ironically, AdWeek called an earlier video in the series the "Best Ad Ever."
"We apologize for this video and take full responsibility. We have removed the video from all Mountain Dew channels and have been informed that Tyler is removing it from his channels as well." Jen Ryan, a spokeswoman for PepsiCo told Yahoo! Shine in a statement.
Mountain Dew is also being called out for its off-handed depiction of a battered woman. A Twitter user, Danica, tweeted, "that Mountain Dew advert is so racist and offensive to women who have been abused/assaulted how was this even approved in the first place?" Felsull added, "racist+sexist. There are no words. Oh wait, there are words. They're all expletives." In 2009, PepsiCo apologized for promoting an app that gave men pick-up lines targeting certain "types" of women.
It is somewhat mind-boggling that — in this age of social media where things spread quickly and are under intense scrutiny —  corporations are still releasing ads as, or more-offensive than, those from the "Mad Men" days.

 --courtesy,  yahoo.com