10 August 2021

35 days

 So, I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, and I was thinking about something. 

I was thinking about having mailed my rent today, like I do on the 10th of every month, so that my landlord will get it by the 16th, which is the due date. It's considered late by the 20th. Only one time it was the 20th and she didn't get my rent. It got lost in the mail, and she texted me about it. When I showed her a picture of the receipt which showed the amount and the day I got it, she asked if I could send her a replacement. She got impatient and drove 30 miles to the house to make sure that she could get the replacement right away. 

So, I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, and I was thinking about my mortality. I was thinking about - if I died in my sleep tonight, how long would it be before anyone would discover I had died. 

I know the answer; the 21st of September. Yes, a little more than a month would pass before the first person would know, and that would be my landlord. She would've gotten my rent by the 16th of this month, but not for next month. She would text me on the 20th of September, and when I don't respond, the next day she will drive to the house to look for me. If my housemate is around she may ask if I was home and he may say he hasn't seen me in a few days. She may knock on the door and call my name and when I don't answer, she will use her key to open it and will find me, underneath my covers, dead.  That's right, it would take 35 days.

 That's the reality. 

People may have texted me during the time but my not answering them might not be a cause for worry, despite the fact that I respond to people immediately. I can text some people and days and months can go by before I get a response. My mom though- she gets upset when I don't respond right away to her voicemails. She wouldn't know who to reach out to, in case of an emergency. 

So, before I go to sleep tonight , I'm going to write individual letters to my closest and dearest friends and family members and put them in self-addressed stamped envelopes for my landlord to mail should she find me in that 'situation', and on one sheet of paper, compile a list of people for my landlord to call/text.  Should something happen. Because you never know.