Health Care Reform

Yes we did!

In some way, of which I have I am unable to explain,   I’m slowly moving towards becoming the person God and I want me to be.  I don’t see any hope in sight, but from my experience and my relationship with God,  I have a positive attitude.

Faith.

Faith is what gets me out of bed in the morning. That fire that lights me up every day. Faith that today will be better than yesterday. Faith that today might be the day, or that I might be  one day closer,  to the day that I’ve been waiting for,  all my life. If I didn't have faith, I wouldn't see the benefit of ever getting out of bed.

It would be nice if all things, for which I'm longing, would coincide. It should be possible for me to have a great job, single friends with whom I have similar interests, and be in a serious relationship, all at the same time, right? In the past, I've had all the aforementioned except a great job. Now, of all the aforementioned, I just have the great job. To reiterate,  I don’t see any hope in sight, but from my experience and my relationship with God,  I have a positive attitude. I have faith.

.

The ABCs of Me

A: Age - 47
B: Bed Size - King
C: Chore you hate - Folding clothes
D: Dad's name - Don't know.
E: Essential start your day item - Coffee with 2 shots of espresso.
F: Favorite color - Purple
G: Gold or Silver - Gold.
H: Height - 5'8"
I: Instruments you play - Drums
J: Job title - Underwriter.
K: Kid(s) - 1 (non-biological)
L: Living arrangements - A deluxe apartment in the sky
M: Mom's name - Jean.
N: Nickname - Big Daddy, Casey case,ECT.
O: Overnight hospital stay - Once.
P: Pet peeve -people on cell phones while watching a movie.
Q: Quote from a movie -"Don't f**k with me, fellas! This aint my first time at the rodeo."
R: Right or left handed - Both!
S: Siblings - 1 sister.
T: Time you wake up - 5 30.
U: Underwear - yes
V: Vegetable you dislike -Lettuce.
X: X-rays you've had - My ankles and my hip.
Y: Yummy food you make - Hazelnut Fudge Marble Cake, etc
Z: Zoo animals you like -Lions and Tigers

"The more you know, the angrier you get."
                     --scott viegas

Lean not to thine own understanding

We, as humans are inquisitive. We seek to understand, to make sense of the things that occur in our world. As kids we leaned to ask our parents who, what, when, where, why, and how.

Everything isn't meant to be understood. There are things that occur that defy all logic, things that occur every day, in our life, that we just need to accept, as miraclesof God's doing.
Did you know that according to 20th century folklore, the laws of aerodynamics prove that the bumblebee should be incapable of flight, as it does not have the capacity (in terms of wing size or beats per second) to achieve flight with the degree of wing loading necessary ?
Not being aware of scientists "proving" it cannot fly, the bumblebee succeeds under "the power of its own ignorance". The origin of this myth has been difficult to pin down with any certainty. John McMasters recounted an anecdote about an unnamed Swiss aerodynamicist at a dinner party who performed some rough calculations and concluded, presumably in jest, that according to the equations, bumblebees cannot fly. In later years McMasters has backed away from this origin, suggesting that there could be multiple sources, and that the earliest he has found was a reference in the 1934 French book Le vol des insectes; they had applied the equations of air resistance to insects and found that their flight was impossible, but that "One shouldn't be surprised that the results of the calculations don't square with reality". According to wikipedia

To reiterate, everything isn't meant to be understood. There are things that occur that defy all logic, things that occur every day, in our life, that we just need to accept, as miracles of God's doing.

I would like to call it beauty

It’s the contour of your cheekbones

it’s the curve of the hip
the contours of the face
felt gently
across
the finger
traced from the small of the back

the waist
caressed grabbed held
close-
with the eyes
closed;
I feel the corners of your lips
Upward/
your hands held in mine tightly
as if afraid I might leave-

you always know how to bring a smile to my face:

(from the length
the width
the height
of you)    the eyes open. &     we     connect-
we love.     we connect-
we love.     we connect-
we love.
we love.


do you think I would leave the most accurate definition of beauty I have ever seen
now that I see it?

I’m not going anywhere.
I promise

                                --alexgeorge

that new Erykah Badu- FALL IN LOVE

"...you aint the worsest one that i have done,
but you'll do
until he comes..."

on today, March 31

in 1931, Cab Calloway recorded "Minnie the Moocher"-the first jazz album to sell a million copies.

on today, March 31

 1988, Toni Morrison wins the Pulitzer Prize for her novel Beloved
-- courtesy blackfacts.com

what i heard on the way to work

(and not on any oregon radio station, of course)

Jeanne Harris sang this with me for my voice recital in College... those were the days

&

some jill scott b4 bed

I spend too much time indoors.
I do love the sun, blue skies, and the heat,
but until I can afford that bungalow
overlooking a Jamaican sunset,
Until I can own that Bed & Breakfast
in the south of France or Belgium,
I'm gonna sit right here,
at home,
or in the library,
or in my living room,
or some other place,
working on my novel,
working on poetry collections,
and working on my short story collections

on my lap top
trying to get things published.

a couple years ago, I saw in a sandwich shop of all places, a sign that read;

NOW IS THE TIME TO DO WHAT YOU DON'T WANT TO DO SO THAT ONE DAY YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO.

But,
even today,
if I owned that  bungalow in Jamaica
or owned that bed & breakfast in France or Belgium,
I would still be writing as much as I do now.
Writing is something I love doing.

.

Things I'm looking forward to

Romance

Love

Kids

Life

Friendships with those sharing mutual interests

Happiness (which actually consists of romance, love, kids, life, friendships with those sharing mutual interests)

Much better credit

Fluency in Farsi and French

Being compared to ee Cummings and Amiri Baraka

Making a living off my writings
An Alexander McQueen Suit, shirt, tie and shoes

And most importantly

being  happy

Song in my head

" this is your life, live it your own way

this is your life, live it your own way

I lived part of my life
Being scared of my dreams
Everytime someone asks
What I'm shooting for in life
I would hide my true feelings

And when I spoke up to my friends
They made fun of my dreams
So when times got too rough
I would think back on one thing
My mama would say to me
Chorus: this is your life, live it your own way

this is your life, live it your own way

Forces of evil struck back and forth
Throughout my younger days,
Because I would listen
And care what other people would say

Like a four letter word
I ignored the whole world
And built my own tiny world with respect

But it took time to relate
What my momma would say time after time again, she said:

Chorus
Chorus"

--En Vogue

song in my head

on being focused

"Focused. I'm a hustler. And my hustle is trying to figure out the best ways to do what I like without having to do much else."

--Mos Def

Bill Maher for President

(after President Obama's 2 consecutive terms, of course)

Friends

At your worst, lowest point (and we all have them sometimes), are the people with whom you spend quality time , those that will come to your aid, should you need them? Honestly? Think about it. If you can answer no, then why are you hanging out with them?-- alexgeorge

I had a friend once, when I lived in Madison Wisconsin, about 20 years  ago. His name was Paul. I thought he was good people. His girlfriend and my girlfriend were friends.  The 4 of us hung out alot. When he and his girlfriend broke up, he moved to Chicago. A year after their breakup, I went to San Diego, and the flight was cancelled because of blizzards in the midwest, and I had taken a bus to Chicago to catch the flight. It was the last bus of the night  at 9 pm, and the first bus would be at 8 am that next morning. The bus depot would close at 10pm, and everybody would have to leave the premises.  I called my friend Paul and informed him I was in town and asked if he could come pick me up and let me crash on his sofa for the night.
His response?

  "I'm not in the mood for company."
Me: Paul, I'm stranded. The bus depot is closing at 10. I can't get home until the morning.
Paul: I don't want to be bothered with anyone.
Me: But Paul, this is Alieux, and I'm stranded. You're the only one I know in the Chicago, and you don't live far from the depot.
Paul: You don't know anyone else here?
Me: You know I don't. Come on, Paul, with all the many many favors I did for you. Are you going to leave me stranded here outside here in Chicago in the cold?
Paul: Sorry, but I'm not in the mood for company. I'm sure you can afford a hotel somewhere.

Well, as they say, hindsight is always 20/20.

A  year later he moved back to Madison and he called me for a  personal reference for a job at the company where I was working. I   gladly gave him permission to use my name.

 Guess what kind of reference I gave for him when his potential boss called me in her office?

A year ago today

I looked at what I had written a year ago today  in this blog (click here ) just out of curiosity, and I see that it's still as relevant today as it was a year ago. Check it out and let me know if you agree.

In my head today

Erykah  Badu

                     

.

"When I dare to be powerful - to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.” --Audre Lord

Suppositions

     Click here

song ( instrumental) in my head, this afternoon

Erykah Badu on Def Jam Poetry

“If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.”
                                                                                   --Audre Lord

More than meets the (i)

 Well, since my dates are few and far between, here in Oregon, I had been looking forward to my date this evening, all week long. This was not a typical first date for me. I had met her at a grocery store on monday. Actually, she had met me. She noticed me in the section of the store where the baking supplies were. I was looking at the bags of cake flour, comparing prices and brands, when  I heard a voice say, "damn, your girl got you grocery shopping?"
I looked up, saw her, and smiled. At about 5'5", about 145lbs, maybe mid 30s, black, attractive, friendly, and noticing me;that kind is extremely rare in Beaverton, Oregon. The causasians here are very friendly and personable, but I notice  black women here seem to physically turn their head to look in the opposite direction when I make an entrance (I have a theory about that, which deserves it's own blog entry, at another time ). If I wasn't the only person in her proximity, I would have just thought she was talking to someone else. But she wasn't. She was talking to me! Anway, we got to talking about the items in my grocery cart. She told me her name was Sheila.  I told her I was baking a cake for a former coworkers dinner party, as a favor to her, which impressed Sheila. She hinted that she loves Pineapple Upside Down cake and that she she didn't believe I could make one as good as her grandmother.  I suggested coming over to make dinner and bake the cake at her place, and she said, "How good are you with soul food? I haven't had any greens or mac & cheese since Christmas.  I told her that soul food was my specialty. She smiled and said  " Ok then, how about friday," to which I said was cool. I told her I'll make some baby back ribs, some collard greens and mac & cheese, and the cake.   We exchanged numbers, and went our separate ways.
Well, during the entire week, we called and texted each other, and she was telling me what she wanted for dinner, etc., I was getting to know her and I was looking forward to the date.
Today, about an hour before I leave work for the weekend, I get a phone call:

"Collect call from Sheila  Jackson @ Clackamas County Jail.Will you accept the charges?"

Normally  I would hang the phone up, but I'm curious, so I accept the call.

Me: Hello?
Sheila:  Uhh, Alieux, I have to postpone the date.
Me: Why?
Sheila: I should tell you, it might be a while though.
Me: Why? Because you're in jail.
Sheila: They're trying to pin Accessory after the fact, obstruction of justice, and aiding and abetting, on me. But I swear I'm innocent. I didn't know my brother was hiding from the po-po. They said I was helping him evade police capture and giving him physical assistance to allow him to remain on the loose, but I swear, I didn't know he was  hiding from the po-po. I swear. Well, I didn't think what he did was that bad, but anyway, they got us both locked up here.

Me: What do you want from me? I'm not bailing anybody outta jail.
Sheila: Wait, before you hang up, I'm scared. I know you're a Christian. Will you pray for me?
Me: Yeah, I'll pray for you. Bye.

Then I hung up the phone.

Now I have all these items for the makings of a dinner that includes baby back ribs,  collard greens braised with smoked turkey, mac & cheese, and the cake. None of which I can eat (I can eat the greens though) myself   because I'm on a diet

song in my head, this afternoon

" Even miracles take a little time."

                 -- Unknown Author

What I’ve found is that storms of life are used by God.

 Sometimes they are a really good test of whether my life is well grounded in Him. Sometimes God uses them to tear down our idols. Sometimes I think they are the enemy trying to break us, and cause us to turn from God, like he tried to do with Job. But any way you look at it, storms end up being two things.

Terrifying and beautiful.

So, I’ve grown to appreciate storms for what they represent.

Every time a storm hits, I can rest assured that God is doing something in my life.

 I love art that depicts both the beauty and the power of a storm.

Storms and hard times = suffering for the sake of the Kingdom.

Beautiful and terrifying at the same time.

In these pictures, I see how God wants to empower me through the storms of life.

After all, He usually takes us through them rather than around them.

song in my head

"...Now I remember spending all my time
On a dream that kept me wishing that you could be mine
And I was hopin' there could one day be
Be a chance for me to...

[Chorus:]

Get the love that I'd been missin'
Sometimes love takes a long time
But, wait for love and you're gonna get the
Chance to love - wait for love, wait for love
Ooh my..."

--Luther Vandross 

1,000 Awesome Things

993 - Reconnecting with family and friends

992 - Meeting people that speak Arabic & Farsi
991 - Hearing my God-daughter on the phone asking when I’m coming to visit again
990 - Getting friend requests from friends that I hadn't seen or heard from since I was in high school or   college
989 - Having a date this Friday
988- The hot tub after a productive workout
987- Back-to-back episodes of  Good Times, with Penny (Janet Jackson)
986 - The house all to myself, when I'm not in the mood for company.

    

       "Are you looking for someone  on which you can always rely? Look in the mirror.
                                                           --alexgeorge

I learned to surround myself  with people that will stimulate me intellectually, socially,  and emotionally. I won't socialize with people that make me feel less then I am. I want to be pushed upward instead of being pulled  along or downward.  Those that try to pull me along or downward are avoided.-- Alexgeorge

Check out

this sobering but true message here.

"Perhaps our fear about looking inward stems from the selective way in which we tend to deal with the truth.


                                                -- Author unknown

You are the only person that you truly know.

--alexgeorge

IF THE ONLY PRAYER YOU SAID IN YOUR LIFE WAS "THANK YOU", THAT WOULD SUFFICE. ~Meister Eckhart

I would say that I'm  needy. Not for attention from people, because I'm very independent and prefer to be my self for the most part (I have short stories, poems, and a novel to work on), but for blessings from God. Before I ask for things, though, I do start off each prayer by first thanking Him for what He's already given me. I think it's important to show my appreciation for what I have before asking for something I still need.

This morning I'm thankful for;

•     I wasn't in the mood for my 30-minute walk to work, until half-way towards work  I saw a man in a wheelchair, headed in the same direction,  using his feet to push himself down the street. I completely changed my attitude, asking myself, why am I complaining and I became grateful that I am able to walk.
•     I have a job that I truly love. The unemployment rate right now is pretty high, and alot of people can't say that they have a job that they love.
•     I woke up this morning. Some people didn't wake up.

              I'm thankful for lots more, but those were foremost in my mind.

1000 Awesome things

999-   Thinking you did something wrong at work  and  then  finding out that someone else insisted that they    made the error.

998-   Finding a 20-dollar bill on the bathroom floor at the mall

997-   Paying a bill the day before it’s considered late, and finding out you’re actually a month ahead

996-  Being able to find my God-daughter beautiful dresses @Macy’s and finding them on the clearance rack

995-  Having lost 10lbs in 5 weeks and being able to wear more clothes in my closet

994-  Sleeping in on Saturday mornings

Have you seen this one ?   Here --->

this

brings me back to my college days, when my friends and I would go to the clubs in Knoxville-

Do you see what I see?

 51 seconds into the video:



Discuss.

   "how we live / is important business

latin night only monday
is contagious / dangerous
let us be ourselves / every day."

--Ntozake Shange

"Don't fear the future. Create the future."

--President Barack Obama said, after signing the Healthcare Reform Bill Into Law.

"Great minds don’t think alike. They think for themselves."

                                                      --J. Sakiya Sandifer

Permission

"I’ve given myself permission to think for my self."

                            --Alexgeorge

Once again, because once is not enough.
OUR LIVES BEGIN TO END THE DAY WE BECOME SILENT ABOUT THINGS THAT MATTER. --  Martin Luther King Jr

I saw this picture, and I couldn't disregard it.  It speaks for itself.

“People do not believe lies because they have to, but because they want to.”

                     -- Malcolm Muggeridge

True.

Regarding the Census

      
on the Daily Show with Jon Stewart:

Guest- Former Governor of Washington , now the Secretary of Commerce, Gary Locke.

Gary Locke: The first census was in 1790. Thomas Jefferson was the head of the first  Census Bureau, and  some of the questions back in 1790 were written by James Madison himself.  The questions on the current census are very close to the questions on the first census.

Jon Stewart: what questions did they have that we don't have? 

Gary Locke: Are you the head of household? And, how many slaves do you have?  

One day ...

Loving this song

Acknowledgement

 Click here

"Women hold up half the sky."

  --Mao Zedong

This evening I was at the gym, and while on the stationery  bike I was reading this article  called Gendercide from The Economist (click here) about China and India's preference for boys over girls (and the aborting of female fetuses), and the author mentioned the above quote, and my mother and sister immediately came to mind.

Women hold up half the sky...Thank God, they do....In some situations, women do more than their fair share of 'holding up the sky.' That's a tiring job.   My mother for example. I can't even imagine where my sister and I would be, had my mother not stepped up to the plate to be both  mother and father and nurse and chauffeur and maid and counselor and everything else in between. My sister is the same in her household as well. 

 

Keeping Track- what's new in my world

1. United Airlines delivered the package I left on the plane; my God-daughter’s birthday present. I can now mail it to her- 3 weeks late, but better late then never.
2. The plot to my current short story The Way Out Is Through is coming along nicely; I’m trying to rein in the craziness of the main character.
3. Saturday I received a rejection letter from the New Yorker regarding my short story The Plan B. I only sent it to them 4 years ago when I lived in Milwaukee Wisconsin. How they found me in the state of Oregon is beyond me.
4. Saturday I also received two acceptance letters from two literary agents who want to help me publish my book of poetry. I only sent samples to them a week earlier. No more the gullible person, the quick receipt of acceptance letters raised not one but two eyebrows. Of course, they were asking for money upfront. These were the two agents I had forgotten to google ‘(their name or name of company) + complaints’ before considering them.
5. A third friend who keeps asking me when when when will I ever get married, failed to tell me she’s going through her 3rd divorce. I saw her husband at the mall this weekend, holding another woman’s hand, and he told me she was cheating on him and hid a very bad cocaine habit from him.
6. I’ve learned a lot about myself from watching the movie “Broken English”. I actually feel enlightened every time I watch it.
7. My God-daughter’s mom appreciates the old-fashioned way of communication, via hand-written letters, and so I’ve been trying to write her a letter by hand. But it’s so easy (and quicker) to type something and send it off, but I’m trying!
8.  God woke me up this morning, so evidently He’s still got plans for me.
9.  Some of my friends have been swallowed up by the real world and are currently AWOL. I think, when they come up for air, I'll be AWOL as well.
10.  I've been hitting the gym seven days a week. Though I’m the only black man I see at the gym each evening, and though the woman at the front desk loves to pronounce my first name, she still studies the face on my Id every evening, to be sure it’s me, as if it's the first time she's seen me.

Dinner conversation (from last week)

Sasha (friend, from The Ukraine, having lived in America 4 years, while watching The Bachelor): Alieux, you should try out for The Bachelor.

Me: I can't be on the show.

Sasha: Why not? You’re good looking, you’re single.

Me: Thanks, but they don’t put black people on that show.

Malia (her sister in-law, also from The Ukraine, who is also watching the show): Come on Alieux. You don’t know what you’re talking about.

Sasha: There have been black people on that show.

Me: There has been not a single black Bachelor or Bachelorette on the show.

Malia: I have seen black people on the show.

Me: And none have been the bachelor or bachelorette. You have seen a black person or other person of color vying for the attentions of the Bachelor or Bachelorette, 100% of which have been white. Even their matches are all 100% white. And all the people of color, usually 1 of the 25 or so, are all voted off by the 1st or 2nd episode.

Sasha: Come on, you’re telling me that the ABC channel is racist? Not everybody is racist. Why do you think that everyone is racist?

Me: I’m not going to get in a debate with you. The core audience of that show are white women, like you. Since you both say that you have seen every single episode ever, of the show, can you name one black bachelor or bachelorette, or even an Asian one, or a Latin one?

Silence.

:)

 

Click here

"No complaints and no regrets.

I still believe in chasing dreams and placing bets.

But i have learned that all you give is all you get, so give it all you got."

                                                                        --Here's To Life,  Shirley Horn

Un homme m'aiment

Click here

 "Positivity YES

  Have U had your plus sign 2 day?
  Positivity YES
  Do we mark U present, or do we mark U late?"
                             -- Positivity, by Prince

Classic Live Performance- Prince & Lenny

First song I heard this morning-- (and I can't wait until the movie comes out)



From the soundtrack of Why Did I Get Married Too

Listening to...

Soundtrack to my life

 click on each title to listen;

Dreaming of you
Genius of love 

Rock with you
Call me
Love hangover
Dim all the lights
I just want to be
She's always in my hair 
It might be you 
Flashlight
I'm freaky 
Boogie Wonderland
If only you knew
Lady Marmalade
Brick House
As 
Borderline
Missing you
Theme From Mahogany 
i keep forgetttin
Isn't she lovely 
Upside Down 
Waiting for a girl like you
A house is not a home
Saving all my love for you
Sarah smile 
A woman's gotta have it
Second time around
Atomic dog                                                           
Until you come back to me    
One in a million                               
That Girl 
Good times
Bonita applebum
If your girl only knew 
Let love rule
The men all pause
I didn't mean to turn you on
I wish
Lets stay together
Strawberry letter 23
Rock with you 
The Glamorous Life 
Betcha she don't love you
Innocent   
Wordy rapping hood
What have you done for me lately
Looking for a new love 
I wish
Never too much
Haven't you heard
Could it be magic
Endless love        
                                              
                                                                        

The Effects of Him

  click here

Where the bee sucks, there suck I:

In a cowslip’s bell I lie;

There I couch when owls do cry.

On the bat’s back I do fly

After summer merrily.

Merrily, merrily shall I live now

Under the blossom that hangs on the bough.

--William Shakespeare

On today, March 19

 in 1939, The New Negro Theater is founded in Los Angeles,California by Langston Hughes.

                                     -- courtesy blackfacts.com

On today, March 19

in 1619,  it was the birthday of William Tucker, the first African child born in the colonies. Tucker was baptized in Jamestown, Virginia. There are unconfirmed reports that he lived to be 108 yrs. old.

                                                                    ---courtesy , blackfacts.com

in clean consciousness i identified my own demeanor where i recognized and called the emotion within myself. overwhelming. consuming... it’s a movement. i love the way it moves slowly up inside me and takes root, like a seed overtime, blossoming into something beautiful. some people complain about the feeling of it. says it chokes them. makes them want to run in the opposite direction. not me. i run towards it when it calls my name. love

life

Time 4 some mos def

A quote on worrying

I keep the telephone of my mind open to peace, harmony, health, love and abundance. Then, whenever doubt, anxiety or fear try to call me, they keep getting a busy signal - and soon they'll forget my number. ~Edith Armstrong

Sometimes

• 
  
  People look for others to surrender while pretending to be supportive.
• 
  
   I wish I were taller.
• 
  
  I pretend that my cell phone dropped a call.
• 
  
  My alarm clock doesn’t alarm.
• 
  
  I actually remember to take the cell phone off ‘silent’ after work.
• 
  
  I can sleep right through a thunderstorm but will wake up if someone turns the TV off.
• 
  
  I forget how much I am loved by family and friends
• 
  
  People think before talking
• 
  
  I wonder if Portland is where I’m supposed to be
• 
  
  I wonder if I will ever have a group of black friends the way I did in Milwaukee, Dc, and Silver Spring Md.
• 
  
  I wonder why little white kids stare at me on the train (when I'm clean-shaven) until one of them will approach me to ask I was Emmet Smith
• 
  
  I wonder if I will be the next Langston Hughes or e.e. cummings.
• 
  
  Sometimes I wonder if I’m a reincarnation of e.e. cummings since he had died the month I was conceived.
• 
  
  I avoid people who ask me if I like Portland yet.
• 
  
  I love like how I look in the mirror
• 
  
  I’m good with my diet and exercise
• 
  
  I get bad feelings about something and the feelings become justified
• 
  
  I hate when people, over the phone assume I'm white, and then tell a racist joke
• 
  
  I have to remember that after I’ve handed my problems over to God, to not try to take them back
• 
  
  I wonder if Janet Jackson will ever have another hit album
• 
  
  I wonder if Prince will ever do music as great as the 1999 and Purple Rain Cds
• 
  
  I wonder if Lauryn Hill or D'Angelo will ever make a comeback
• 
  
  I hear Prince's instrumental Venus De Milo and I envision my bride walking down the aisle to the song.
• 
  
  I wonder if I should bake cakes on the side, to make extra money
• 
  
  I hate my guidance counselor in high school who talked me out of architectural school
• 
  
  I look back at how I got over my mental and physical abuse at the hands of my father
• I want to run as fast as I can or to scream as loud as I can but my voice is too deep
• 
  
  I’m bad with my diet and exercise
• 
  
  I wonder if everyone reaps what they sow in this life or the next
• I wonder if I was a rich white man who had many lovers in a previous life (the opposite of this one)

today

Perspective

May

the view

you have

enable you to

move forward

when things

aren't always clear

and you wonder

which way to turn

-- alexgeorge

Monica- Still Standing

haven't u heard....

I’m on the road to somewhere.

I know it’s along road, & there will be forks in the road ahead.
hopefully I will be quiet enough, calm enough, open enough, prayerful enough, to listen for words of wisdom
regarding which path to take; perhaps someone will be sent to show me the way...the right someone,
that is.
the wrong someone sent me astray once,
but I’m older & wiser now…

a secret

no
tears
today.


my body is beginning to accept the loss
slowly but with dignity
It's
getting
easier
But every aspect of me whispers,
I'll
always
love you,
hoping that I won't hear...
   --alexgeorge

remember this.....?

THE TRUTH

Spring

...and then the sun came out...

i love los angeles.

i love the sunshine,

but if every day was sunny, i wouldn't appreciate the sunshine as much

as i do now.

so i accept the cloudy days in oregon.

i accept the roadblocks in my life.

if everything was easy,

i don't think I would appreciate the good days as much