Bucket List

* Go to Paris one more time 

* Go to Toronto one more time 

* Visit my mom one more time 

* Go to Brooklyn and Queens NY to meet my biological sisters for the first time, and any other biological siblings I may discover.

That's it.

 Any other items on previous bucket lists are unattainable ( like love and happiness). 

Reciprocal

Ce que vous donnez est ce que je vais donner. Si vous ne donnez rien, vous n’obtenez rien

WOW

I was going to write a post about what's been going on in my life within the past month, and my feelings about myself being my worst enemy and blah blah blah, but before I did that I was curious to see about any comments from past posts, and I see the last comment I received was March 26.

Of 2019.

Despite the 10 or more blogs on which I comment, on a weekly basis, obviously, I'm writing to myself. No one is returning the favor. Like this post. Right now. Every word I'm writing right now. No one will see it but me. So it doesn't even make sense writing any 

                                        thing-

Shirley Horn..., "Here's to Life."

Peace

I've made peace with the possibility that I will not find love in this life, and that I will die as I have lived-not wanting to be alone, but being alone and not by choice. What comes so easily for others has been unatainable for me. In 3 weeks I will be 58 years old. If it's been hard this long, I can't imagine it will suddenly become easy. I can't imagine that a younger woman will want to date or marry a man my age who wants kids. I'm just being realistic-though it doesn't mean I've stopped trying. I was talking to a friend a few years ago, a biblical scholar who has studied not only the Bible, but also the Q'uran and the Torah. She was telling me that the idea of reincarnation was desperately expunged from the Bible by the Catholic church.

Though I'm a Christian, I've always wondered about reincarnation. If there is such a thing as reincarnation, then I'm convinced my next life will be much better than this one. I say that because I'm such a good person-or at least I try to be. I'm loving, I'm giving, I'm thoughtful, I'm kind, I'm not argumentative. I try to be as friendly and as thoughtful and as cool a person as I could possibly be, and hopefully my next life will be my reward. so I'm basically biding my time until God is ready. I'm also convinced that this life is due to how I may have lived and treated people in a past life.