I strive to be a good person, partly because it feels natural to me, but also because I fear I might not have been good in my past lives. I’m convinced that this life is a form of karmic punishment for mistakes I made before. No one can convince me otherwise; every single aspect of my life is shitty. Maybe I took advantage of my parents or took them for granted. Perhaps I mistreated the women in my life—my wife (or wives) or girlfriends. If I had children, maybe I didn't give them the attention and care they deserved. I’ve probably broken hearts, been selfish, or lived ( and ate) recklessly. Maybe I was the life of every party, wealthy and carefree, indulging in excess without a second thought for others.
But in this life, I have strong, meaningful relationships with my sisters, so I like to think I wasn’t being punished for how I treated them in the past. In another life, I might have been tall, fit, and good-looking. Maybe I didn’t stutter. Maybe I wasn’t shy or introverted. Maybe I was loved but took the love for granted.
I'm the kindest, most loving, attentive, and empathetic person I can be. The best son, brother, friend, uncle, employee I can be. I hope that by living this way, I can create a better path for myself—in the next life.
In this life I am currently 62. I'm too old for the things I dream of-
currently listening to The Beautiful Ones, by Prince
