Changes

I need to do something different. 

More different than anything I've done since I arrived here in Oregon 7 years ago. 

I'm a good guy.

I'm a good friend.

I'm reliable. 

I'm the most receptive,

                   the most empathic person I know. 

but I'm also the loneliest person I know

especially on nights like tonight, New Years Eve.

I've spent it alone 7 years in a row.

I need to do something different. 

Nothing I've done here to bring about positive change has succeeded. 

I've rid my life of fake people,

I've strengthened my friendships with the real ones.


I go to bed by 11 pm every New Years Eve so that when I wake up in the morning it's the next year.

(and every friday and most saturdays, to be honest)

I want to help bring in the new year next year.

I haven't found any women of color with whom I am mutually attracted. 

I need to do something different. 
                 


I need to move away. 

It's11pm.

Goodnight.