What if?

I had a very scary day today. For about 2 weeks I had a strange sensation in my chest. I have it right now, as I type this, though not as much as this morning. It's not an ache or a pain or a tightness. The best way to describe it is like the feeling of someone sitting on my chest. But it came and went. It never lasted more than a few minutes each time. Lately it's been lasting for about an hour or more.
Today I decided I would call my doctor. I gave the symptom to the nurse who called me back and though I had none of the other symptoms she asked me about (no shortness of breath, no sharp pain,no swelling in my legs, no pain radiating in my arms, no vomiting, etc) she told me the dr said to go to ER immediately, so I went. They ran every diagnostic test imaginable, starting with an EKG. the results were positive. I was really scared when the dr suggested getting blood work to determine if I had had a heart attack. Thank God the blood results showed that wasn't the case. I was hooked up to blood pressure monitors, blood oxygen monitors, and they even had tubes going up in my nostrils to deliver oxygen  to my lungs. They had cat scans,  ct scans exrays and chest ct scans.    And all I was thinking about/worrying about was the fact that they asked me who was the person to contact in case of emergency, and I gave my mother's contact information. She's in Wisconsin. She couldn't have afforded to fly here if I really needed her urgently. My adopted sister's baby is due to be born any day now and she needs my mom.  My best friend attends seminary school in California and though he doesn't have travel money he would find a way to get here if it got serious. The sad part is-  I have no one local that I could depend on to look after me. Over 250 facebook  'friends' and  I have no local real friend I could depend on at the very least.

The doctor said my heart and lungs were all in excellent condition, and the symptoms were probably due to work-related stress.

I had a very scary day today.

Thank God I am fine , but dear God, what if I really needed someone to do things for me that I couldn't do myself? If there's any time when I feel inspired to find my soulmate (or anyone with a heartbeat who looks in my direction) , it's now.

I had a very scary day today.

#jussayin