Soultight

Is your soul tight?

Quite often I wonder about myself.

Given the environment in which I was raised, it amazes others as well as myself that I hadn't committed suicide, or caused harm to my family or animals,  or have been one of those bullied kids who punished their school by setting off a bomb or shot rounds of bullets at my enemies. I'm glad I didn't have access to a gun or had the ingenuity to create a bomb with household items. I was angry and sad more often than I was happy. I was beaten, poisoned, physically and mentally abused. I often wondered 'why is he doing this to me?' I cried so much, that he called me sissy more than he called me my name. Even to this day, I am emotionally diminished by the mental abuse he inflicted on me. I believe the mental was worse than the physical.    It is through God's grace that I have never been arrested,  that I have never inflicted harm on anyone that I love, that I never had to set foot in a police department or insane asylum for anything.  I give honor to all the speech pathologists/ counselors I met with, from first grade through 12th grade.
Though at times I feel I'm coming apart at the seems, I get up every morning and I go to work and make a daily attempt to exceed the expecations of my manager. I am gentle, and I am loving and I am kind, and open to all people. I know how it feels to not be wanted, to be treated like an after thought,  to be treated like shit. Is your soul tight?   I'm not sure about mine.

Sheena Easton - Cool Love

Love Is Hard Work

Dale - Simon Simon

The Internet Performs "Under Control"

QOTD

I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.

Thomas Jefferson

Success

Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; staying together is success.

-Henry Ford

Ok?!

Quote to start the day

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. 

― Ralph W. Emerson

Overheard today at Starbucks

                "Science flies men to the moon. Religion flies people into tall buildings."

Jody Watley - When A Man Loves A Woman

Perfect Angel - Stevie Wonder Tribute to Minnie Riperton 1979.

OK?

What To Remember About Today

Nao - Inhale Exhale

Nao - Zillionaire

Quote to start your week off on a positive note.

      Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear. 

           -George Addair

TRUTH

hypocrite 53402

Hurry!
get back in your Bible,
right behind Romans 15:2!
wipe that look of your face,
and stop gossiping about
who is dating who,
who is mad at who,
who needs to lose weight,
who needs to gain weight,
who doesn’t like who,
who might be gay,
who’s carrying who’s baby,
who’s lusting after the pastor,
who was wearing a too-short skirt,
and who was showing too much cleavage at church last Sunday.
get that smile back on your face

…..hurry!

other Christians are coming!
(act saved)
you can go back to your true self after they leave.

--alexgeorge

McFadden & Whitehead Ain't No Stopping Us Now (long Version).wmv

So Glad it's Friday

Jordan Rakei - A Tribe Called Government

Words Hardened

Had I known

they’d tumble

into your heart

and plant

as seed

some like weed

some stone

I’d have

chosen

softened edges

washed

and sown

more carefully

--alexgeorge

Friday, I'm diggin' you like an old soul record

Me'Shell Ndegéocello

 

 

Happiness

Some people

Some people can fuck up a mood just by entering the room.

Some people can make things better by leaving.

OM'MAS KEITH - UH OH IT'S LOVE.

Amin Payne • SP555 Live Set • LeMellotron.com

Amin Payne - Saffron - full album (2015)

8

I had every intention of having a kick ass adventure and life in Oregon

 

when I arrived here 8 years ago today,

but it’s not going as planned--

not for lack of trying.

my eyes were opened to the reality of Portland life:

 I had to lower

 my expectations.

Then I had to lower them

 again.

 

Then I had to lower them

again.

Then I had to lower them

again.

Then,
reluctantly,

I had to lower them again.
 

Now I’m just going through the motions of working to save enough money to afford to escape every now and then,
or until I can find a job far away from here, 
or working just to pay the rent and other bills until  it’s my turn to die,

or until I can afford to live out the rest of my days in Paris.

Agape Love

it occurred to me recently that there are people that I love that are not deserving of my love.

i don't love them for their sake;  i love them for my sake.

as a Christian,

i'm inclined to love everybody.

while nothing says i have to like them,

i do love them.

Rejjie Snow | BLACK PANCAKES

Abjo - Some you get

1X

You know....

"hey Alieux, you wanna go with me to farmer's market?" or,
"hey Alieux, there's a new sushi restaurant downtown. We should check it out ?" or,
"hey Alieux, you wanna get a drink after work?" or,
"hey Alieux, let's work out saturday morning." or,
"hey Alieux, what are you doing? You wanna meet up and get something to eat?" or,
"hey Alieux, are you free for lunch today ?" or,
"hey Alieux, let' go to the beach today." or,
"hey Alieux, it's ladies night at a bar downtown. why don't we check it out?" or,






....would be nice.


At least once.

Instead of me having to do

Jesse Johnson's Revue Jesse Johnson's Revue Album 1985

Ta Mara & The Seen -- Affection

Tom Misch - Nightgowns (feat. Loyle Carner)

Tom Misch - Falafel

Brockaflowersaurus-Rex & The Blueberry Biscuits - (02) Long Road

Louis Baker & Jordan Rakei - Just Want To Thank You

James Chatburn x Jordan Rakei - "Holiday Love"

Herb Alpert - Keep Your Eye On Me (Manic Mix)

MFN

I’m in love with literature; the reading and the writing of it.  I try to read and write for one or two hours every day. I only have one life to live, but in literature I can live a thousand lives.   
 This is one of my creations, a novella called Medicine For The Nightmare, on Amazon Kindle Desktop Publishing. You should check it out!            

                                          

T B T Faith Evans, Jodeci, Mary j Blige

I'll set this right here

The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.

                         --Norman Vincent Peale

This is a repost.

Dear Frankie

While flipping through the channels, I came across this movie on the Audience Channel, called Dear Frankie. It's a story about a single lonely woman who tries to spare her deaf son the truth about his abusive father by hiring a stranger to pretend to be him for one day.  It was late at night so  I only watched about 15 minutes of it. I did find it on Netflix, so I'll watch it this weekend.
The 15 minutes I did watch made me feel really emotional. The boy was so happy to spend a day with his 'father', and he asked his mother if he could see his 'father' the next day. The father, though initially reluctant, came to really like the role he was playing and wanted to see the boy again as well, but the mother was against it.
For about a minute I wished a stranger could have been paid to pretend to be my biological mother and father when I was growing up. I wish someone could have been paid to give me that father/son and mother/son relationship I so desperately needed when I was a child. Because I didn't know my childhood was unique, I didn't know any better, but now that I know, I'm thinking it would have been nice to feel loved, to be happy, to be a kid, when I was a kid instead of being forced to be the man of the house when I was 12.

 I have to end this blog post because I'm feeling emotional.

I look forward to watching the entire movie over the weekend.

Question

Why is it that some people profess to be  Christian  but don't practice any of its principles?

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: Televangelists (HBO)

I love this man! This is so true.

I'm already tired enough for tomorrow

Perhaps this will wake me up.

Numb

he was told by his mother
not to tell what goes on in their house
but he mentioned the beat-downs to a friend
casually,
thinking it was part of every boy's life,
thinking it was an initiation into manhood.

he found out it wasn't.

it was just part of his life;
none of his friend's dads were abusing them.
- See more at: http://seville10.blogspot.com/#sthash.dP78S60G.dpuf

Snakehips - Gone (feat. Syd)

XO - U & I (feat. Shay Lia)

If I wasn't Christian

I'd still be nice , and loving, and compassionate, and will treat people like I'd like to be treated.

The Blue Mosque, Istanbul Turkey

Even if I was a  Muslim,
I'd be nice, and loving, and compassionate, and will treat people like I'd like to be treated.
Even if I was a  Buddhist,
I'd be nice, and loving, and compassionate, and will treat people like I'd like to be treated.
Even if I was a Hindu,
I'd be nice, and loving, and compassionate, and will treat people like I'd like to be treated.
Even if I was an Atheist,
I'd be nice, and loving, and compassionate, and will treat people like I'd like to be treated.
Even if I practiced Judaism, 
I'd be nice, and loving, and compassionate, and will treat people like I'd like to be treated.
Even if I was a Sikh,
I'd be nice, and loving, and compassionate, and will treat people like I'd like to be treated.
Even if I was a  Confucianist,
I'd be nice, and loving, and compassionate, and will treat people like I'd like to be treated.
Even if I was a  Syncretic,
I'd be nice, and loving, and compassionate, and will treat people like I'd like to be treated.
Even if I was a  Mormon,
I'd be nice, and loving, and compassionate, and will treat people like I'd like to be treated.
Even if I was a  Scientologist-
well,
I'd be nice, and loving, and compassionate, and will treat people like I'd like to be treated.
I'd never be a  Scientologist (or a Mormon), but if  I was, I'd be nice,  and loving, and compassionate, and will treat people like I'd like to be treated.
  

Tom Misch - Wake Up This Day (feat. Jordan Rakei)

Andy Stott - Faith In Strangers (Full Album)

A single brick

In this photograph we see the difference a single brick can make, as it appears to support the remains of a wall from an abandoned Sugar Mill in Ramon, Russia. The photo was taken by a user named Muph on livejournal.com, a photographer and urban explorer of Russia’s fascinating landscape. 

The same way that one single person CAN make a difference.

So Far To Go Feat. Common & D'angelo

Uncensored - Key & Peele - Negrotown

Plans for the week

•  Avoid this blog-no one will know I haven't posted anything this week.
•  Don't bake anything-people tell me ad nauseum that I should start business yet none of them are buying anything.
• Clear my facebook page of 'friends' I haven't heard from in years.
• Clear my phone contact list of people I haven't heard from in years. 
• Adhere to my diet.
• Though I have no one to work out with, pretend I have a local friend who will push me to work out harder and longer.
• Reduce my tv intake to 2 hours ( 90 minutes  next week, and an hour the week after) and have it as background noise while doing something productive rather than sitting down to watch it.
• Get to bed early.
• Work on my short story the wrong door.
• No procrastinating.

Beyoncé - Be With You

What You Should Be Reading

Available on your Kindle!

 

A novella from yours truly!

 

click here ---->

towhomitmayconcern

If you claim to be a real friend then be real in your soul. If you claim to be fake then be an enemy instead.
-Santosh Kalwar

ToWhomItMayConcern

Closure (From the upcoming album "Woman") [OFFICIAL MUSIC]

Prince - Full Concert - 01/30/82 - Capitol Theatre (OFFICIAL)

Arsenio Hall 2014 w/ Prince

- That One Word

                       One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life; That word is love.     --Sophocles

-Love

Love is like a baby: it needs to be treated tenderly.

                           ~Congolese Proverb

Esta

Vision

We are one blink of an eye away from being fully awake.

My Philosophy

Step 1:

Let people do what they need to do to make them happy and mind your own business, and do what you need to do to make you happy.


The End. 

React to action

                                  it's interesting how some people add 2 +2 and get 5.
                
                                  some get 3.

                          and some get 0.

Elliot Yamin - Moody's Mood For Love

Brown Sugar by Mos Def

T G I F!! Erykah Badu - Worldwide Underground FULL ALBUM

Madonna - The Beast Within

Skream Boiler Room DJ Set

For the summer. You're welcome.

Just a thought.

          I just want someone to tell me it's all gonna be okay. And mean it. 

Baby Huey - Hard Times (1971)

Something to think about

“Inside my empty bottle I was constructing a lighthouse while all the others were making ships.”

                                           --Charles Simic

Today is one of those days

#isisisnotislamic

Yesterday an ISIS member stopped the car of a Christian couple.
ISIS member: Are you Muslim?
Christian man: Yes, I'm Muslim.
ISIS member: If you are a Muslim, then recite a verse of Quran.
Christian man recited a verse from the Bible.
ISIS member: Ok allah go.
Later his wife tells him: "I cannot believe the risk you just took.
Why did u tell him that we are Muslims?
If he knew you were lying he would have killed both of us."
"Do not worry! If they knew the Quran they would not kill people" answered the Husband.
ISIS is not Islam, terrorism has no religion.

--Angelina Jolie


So true. If ISIS represents ALL who follow Islam, then that means, by extension, the KKK represents ALL of Christianity. 

Layne Harper - FOE

Song in my head.....Karyn White - Beside You

H.T.N.G.A.F.

I'm trying to figure out how to not give a fuck anymore. 

 Any advice on how to accomplish this? Any advice on not caring?

Just a thought.

How frustrating is it when you're the only person who can see how evil and sneaky someone is and everyone else is blind to it.

TBT Amil Featuring Beyonce, Tony Toni Tone, George Clinton Featuring Vanessa Williams

The Greener Grass Syndrome

“If you have determined to go to Egypt and make

that your home, then the very wars you fear will catch

up with you in Egypt and the starvation you dread

will track you down in Egypt. You will die there!”

Jeremiah 42.15-16

This morning a friend called. I hadn't heard from her in a long time, and so, in trying to catch up with what's been going in our lives since we last spoke, I let her speak first. Everything she said  made me feel like anything I had to say would have sounded more like whining, so while listening to her I just said to myself : thank God for the issues I  have, because they're nothing in comparison to what she's dealing with, so I'm going to shut up and not even complain--
 
Most often, the issues other people have are worse than your own.

This is a repost.

Ben Westbeech - Something For The Weekend [OFFICIAL VIDEO HD]

Note to self

if you're expecting the world to be fair with you because you are fair, you're fooling yourself. That's like expecting the lion not to eat you because you didn't eat him.

Tom Misch - Sunshine

About Him (Official Video)

The Roots - You Got Me feat. Jill Scott

Medicine for the Nightmare, The Way Out is Through, The Beginning and The End of Everything, and Transmission 011809

The Way Out Is Through

With the exception of  3 people I know, who downloaded all 4 of my novellas via Amazon Kindle, I had 400 other downloads, all of which came from Australia, France and the UK.
That's right. only 3 people in the United States. 

Anyway, I has googled 'how to increase downloads of amazon kindle", and I saw this article that said:

People like freebies, and they like “expensive” freebies.
If you won a car in a competition and had two choices – a $20,000 car for free, or a $2,000 car for free, which would you pick?

Prior to this promotional period, my book was $7.99. When it went “free” on the Kindle store, it said $7.99 FREE. This meant an $8 ‘discount’ during the free period, as opposed to books which were normally 99c, and are then free during promotion (99c discount).

This, of course, doesn’t mean my book is better than anyone else’s which is lower priced: but it gives the impression of a larger discount. I suspect this increased the number of downloads.

- See more at: http://www.seanogle.com/entrepreneurship/increase-amazon-kindle-book-sales#sthash.HdA4gGJ3.dpuf

So I increased the price from $2.99 to $5.00. Hopefully this will help increase sales.  wish me luck!

Note to self

Whoever is kind to the poor lends to the LORD, and he will reward them for what they have done.

Proverbs 19:17

Jhene ft Omarion Happy

Alright

If you're lucky enough to have love knock on your door, I wouldn't ask alot of questions.

--Bill Maher

Love

Before I find it, I devote my life looking for it.

And when I finally find it, I devote my life living for it.

Quote of the day

The difference between haterade and gatorade is that one fills you up, and the other makes you thirsty.

Do you know the difference?

Some people enter your life and are permanent. Others are just passing through. Know the difference.

 Do you know the difference?

The 3 things

what 3 things do Madonna, Michael Jackson and Prince have in common?

They were all born and raised in the Midwest. Michael Jackson from Indiana, Madonna from Michigan, and Prince from Minnesota.

They were 80s  music icons with the biggest hits of their careers in that decade.

And they were all born in 1958.


Happy Birthday, Prince!

Kamasi Washington - 'Change of the Guard'

Sister Sledge ~ How To Love

One of my all-time favorite songs.

Funny how time flies Stanley Clark

Adding & Subtracting

Some friendships grow stronger, and some friendships dwindle to the point where they don't exist anymore. While I appreciate the former, I always agonize over the latter, wondering what did I do that's causing me to have to chase after them, but then I remember the prayer I recite every now and then;

"Dear Lord,

Please add to my life, people who would be looking out for my welfare, and who can help me to be the person You and I want me to be, and please subtract from my life people who could care less if I lived or died.  Amen."

I don't worry anymore.

I'm taking solace in the fact that God is answering my prayers.  And I'm appreciating those friends I don't have to feel like I have to chase.

Yes

This.

                  the eyes are useless when the mind is blind



                           that is all.

Once,

 i tried to change the behavior of  a difficult person i had to work with, and i realized it was an impossible task. so i decided to be even nicer than i was to the person, and she began responding accordingly.  

I must not fear

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.

I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

-Frank Herbert

this is for real

2 Timothy 1:7

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Cree Summer Still Heart

Keyshia Cole - Enough Of No Love ft. Lil Wayne

just a thought

Some Lemon Caneles I made last night for myself
 

If I had a brick for every person who said :

"Have you thought of baking fulltime? You should start a business! Do you have any business cards?"

(and I gave them my pinterest address, my business facebook page, and a business card) who didn't buy a single cookie, or cupcake, or muffin, or canele, or macaron, or mini bundt, or cake, or pie over the years,  (100%)

I'd have enough to build a bakery.


And that is why I don't lean on what anyone says. 

I lean on what they do.

On Taking Risks

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.

― Helen Keller, The Open Door

Note to self

Surround yourself with people who know your worth. You don't need too many people in your life, 

just the real ones  who appreciate you for exactly who you are.

-author unknown

A simple philosophy

I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.

-Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Herein lies the problem.

Sometimes we (I) expect more from others because we (I) would be willing to do that much for them.

-author unknown

The top 10 things I like about Portland

 

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8. my job

9.

10.

This completes my list.

El Michels Affair - C.R.E.A.M

Jody Watley Call On Me

On today,

in 1993,

Eritrea achieved independence from Ethiopia after a 30-year civil war.

I'm noting this because my sister in-law is Eritrean and so my God-daughter, niece, and model Arianna, is half Eritrean. Isn't she gorgeous?

Jill Scott - Fools Gold [OFFICIAL SINGLE]

Dreams don't work unless you do.

Man needs his difficulties because they are necessary to enjoy success.

APJ Abdul Kalam


I tell this to my nephew all the time. I'm trying to get him to understand the imporance of hardwork, focus, and being steadfast. He gives up very easily and is often discouraged.

My nephew used to love to swim. he was a huge fan of Michael Phelps during the last Summer Olympics. I had him watch the back story of how Michael Phelps became an olympic swimmer. I informed my nephew that Mr Phelps didn't wake up the morning before the Olympics and just showed up to join the team. For years before that day,  Michael Phelps got up at 5 am and swam about 12 hours a day, about 6 days a week. He ate, slept, and swam. That's all he did. I'm sure he wanted to sleep in, and do what other teens do, but he had a goal-which he attained, through sacrifice and hard work. And long hours.

I read a story about how Tiger Woods' father used to spray water from a hose at him as he practiced gold as a kid because his father wanted him to learn how to play golf under pressure.

I get up every morning at 5 30 am to work out before taking anhout train ride to work. Then I bike 21 miles on the stationary bike at the gym in the evening. Do I want to? No. I'd rather be somewhere in Costa Rica or Paris, running a bed and breakfast, and cooking and baking and writing. But I have goals that need to be attained so that I can eventually do what I want to do.

"BEST OF ROISIN MURPHY" mixed by Alex Balogh

Róisín Murphy - Exploitation

Carole Davi$ Heart of Gold (side two)

THE BRAND NEW HEAVIES - "I DON'T KNOW WHY (I LOVE YOU)"

My facebook post today

Yesterday was a good day. Not only did I get a promotion at work, I was also asked to be sent the results of the gender of a baby two friends of mine are having; for an upcoming gender reveal celebration, I get to bake a cake that will be either blue or pink, depending on the gender results of which I will know before the parents do. That is indeed an honor!
I don't know what I'll make, but a White Chocolate-Cake-with Mascarpone-Coconut-Frosting comes to mind.

Plain and simple

Yass

Out of Obligation

There needs to be obligatory you've-done-me-wrong-and-I'm-pissed-at-you-and-i'm-tired-of-you-playing--the-victim-card-when-you-continually-treat-the-ones-you-claim-to-love-like-shit-and-you're-surprised-and saddened-that-everyone-of-your-children-have-distanced-theirselves-from-you-and-that-I-blocked-your-phone-number-because-you-were-leaving-threatening-voicemails-that-had-me-shaking-everytime-the-phone-rang-but-it's-Mothers-day-so-I-have-to-give-you-a-card   cards.

Better

     

I want to be so many things to people , but most of all I want to be better to
                                                                                                                          me.

If love

Love, 

by the time your gps locates               
and directs u towards me
I hope I will not b 2 exhausted
2 receive u
even though
u
will be greatly
ap-
preciated/ this
u
will
know


(am i going through a tunnel and I don't know it and that's why you can't find me? )

--alexgeorge

OM'MAS KEITH - UH OH IT'S LOVE.

The things that make us human

This morning while on the train  headed to work there was a black woman seated across from me who was changing her baby boy's diaper. An older white  woman took a keen interest in her.  I assumed she wanted to ask the mother about  her son's colostomy bag, but she didn’t. She might have wanted to, but she asked instead about his age, his name–the things that make him human, the things that emphasize his personhood over his diagnosis. She had a kind soul, this woman. I could feel it in her eyes. We all put out vibes, you know. I’m a big believer in that, no matter how crazy it makes me sound. Just think about it–we all know that feeling when a person comes around and our skin crawls. Bad vibes. But then there are the ones we’re drawn to and we just can’t quite figure it out. They make us feel peaceful. Good vibes. She had the good vibes.

Quote

Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at it destination full of hope. 

                                         --Maya Angelou                       

-Natalie Cole

When you have put all your faith in man and continue to be disappointed, don't you hope there is something out of there that is not of human element?
      -- Natalie Cole

There is someone out there. It's God. That's my answer.

one day i will be unrecognizable:

bits and pieces of the old

are coming together

/slowly
converging

being replaced with the new-

fragments of the whole

(of me         ):

the peeling of layers

thinned out by exposure

to

Lies

Jealousy

Hatred

Hypocrisy

Scheming

One-up man-ship

Under the guise of friendship

& replaced by newer heavier thicker layers

protected from exposure

strong enough to withstand

fake people
& fairweather friends

refusing to be like Lot’s wife

I look ahead.

One day I will be unrecognizable

You will one day be looking for me

 and I will be standing amongst  you:

brand new

   --alexgeorge

repost